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Online, anyway. From InsanePictures.com:

Official Language of Europe

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which heavily lobbied to be the official languauge and was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish."

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c" . . . Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k." This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f." This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mess of the silent "e's" in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and the "w" with "v."

During the fifz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yar, ve vil hav a realy sensibl vriten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evryvun vil find it easy tu understand each ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!


LBD "Nytetrayn"

Date: 2004-10-11 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starnik.livejournal.com
*dies laughing* XD oooh... I didn't get it until the very last line, what they were doing. *snicker*

Date: 2004-10-11 07:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yuriranch.livejournal.com
This is hilarious! i didn't get to understand what the hell they were saying in the last part!

Date: 2004-10-11 01:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] guido-jacobs.livejournal.com
For those who don't speak french, it means "the dream will finally come true!"

Date: 2004-10-11 01:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yuriranch.livejournal.com
what? going to German language?
If that's the case, then yeah, it will come true...

Date: 2004-10-11 10:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lowellius.livejournal.com
I felt the urge to grow a little black moustache and conquer large parts of europe by then end of that article... Odd.

Incidentally, I learned while in Europe never to talk about WWII. Most people are uncomfortable acknowledging that such events ever happened.

Date: 2004-10-11 12:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lbd-nytetrayn.livejournal.com
Oh, in Germany especially... I think Nazi references are against the law there, now.

LBD "Nytetrayn"

Date: 2004-10-12 12:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lowellius.livejournal.com
Quite probably. There was a funny reference to that on Family Guy at one point.

Whether that part is true, I ahve no idea though. I stayed in Paris for 2 weeks in High school. They dont like to talk about it either for some reason... *rolls eyes*

Date: 2004-10-11 01:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tossy.livejournal.com
I like it!

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